TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
