Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
