remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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