She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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