i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
