i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
