good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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