so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
