she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
