There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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