Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
