Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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