The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Randomize
