What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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