i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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