kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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