i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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