I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
