This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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