were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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