we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
