We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
