That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
My vagina just recognized that song.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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