youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
