Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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