she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
