So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
