Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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