we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize