I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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