before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I came so hard my ears popped.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
