he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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