There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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