So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
