apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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