So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
