She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
