I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
