dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
