He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
