The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
