we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
