i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
