Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
