currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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