11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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