Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I want you more than these girls want KFC
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I think a kid would responsible me up
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
