Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
