Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
