I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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