can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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