So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
