I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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