Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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