He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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