Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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