i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
the condom got lost in my hair
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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