I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
