Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
