someone threw a dead crab at me
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
