That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
