Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
